Sophie's Choice

As you'll be aware if you read my "Tw*ts on trains" blog I was in Sidcup on Saturday night, at a restaurant called Sophie's Choice.

It's a crap name for a restaurant tbh, and as it turns out it's a crap name for a crap restaurant.

The missus and I arrived at about 19:40 on Saturday, the table was booked for 19:45 but we were the first of the party there (her family doesn't know the meaning of punctuality!!).  So we ask the waitress where our table is, she goes and checks, then tells us it's upstairs.

We make our way upstairs, where the staff have no idea and say that our table might be downstairs.  After a few minutes they finally figure out which of the 6 or 7 tables is ours, and we take our seats.

The waitress comes to take our drink orders, I order a sparkling water and the missus wants a vodka and coke.

Several minutes later the waitress returns with a sparkling water... but she's forgotten what the missus wants... cos it's tough to remember 2 things, and not like a waitress could ever need to remember multiple things is it?!

Soon another 3 people turned up, taking us to 50 of 9 having arrived... only a few minutes late.  Their drinks are equally slow turning up, but now we have menus as well... this is progress!!

The other 4 people belatedly show up, and get some drinks ordered.  Do we get more menus?  No, so now we're sharing 5 menus between 9 people... not the end of the world I grant you, but not ideal really.

What seems an eternity later the waitress comes to take our orders... I'll have the pate and then sirloin steak, medium rare, with chips.

The pate was meant to be duck and orange... it wasn't, it was duck with a slice of orange on the side, and it was not very nice at all.  Far too bitter.

Ok, onto the steak.  Medium rare?  Not really, no, but it'll do.  It wasn't until I was halfway through that I realised my medium rare steak was sat across the table, being eaten by the future sis in law who'd ordered medium... waitress got them mixed up, but I'd eaten half by then so it was a bit late to swap.  The medium rare did look nice though...

The dessert was actually quite nice, shame it turned up at breakfast time the next day!!  Seriously is it that difficult to be offered a dessert menu within half an hour of finishing your main?  Surely not!!

And then onto the crowning achievement of this most mediocre of eateries... the bill. 

The discussion had already been had that the missus and I were only paying for what we had, not subsidising the bunch of winos she calls family.  So she hands over the cash to cover ours... then the debates start "well I only had one glass of wine and she had 5", "well I had no wine so why should I pay for any of it?"... etc.  In the end they all decide to pay the same amount, and the debit cards come out.

Card number 1 goes into the machine, the transaction starts and then the machine freezes.  They do it again, now there are 2 receipts... has she been charged twice?  Nobody knows, and now the machine is broken.  They must have another machine?  Nope, just one for the whole place.

Well at least they must have an old manual one as a backup?  Nope, just the one broken electronic one. 

Now hands are diving into pockets seeking cash, what should be a simple end to the evening becoming ever more complex.  Now the waitress is talking about people phoning up later to pay... what a mess.

Unfortunately I never did find out how it all resolved in the end... I had a train to catch.