What is the world coming to

Had a bit of a result this morning, turns out the various Tesco vouchers that I've misplaced over the last couple of years have all been kept for me by those nice folks at Tesco, and I now have £41.50 worth to spend either on Tesco groceries or Tesco direct.

Now this is a pretty good time of year to discover that you have that amount of vouchers to use, it'll cover a fair bit of the old Xmas shopping.

So I was having a browse around the Tesco Direct site, and clicked on the link for Xmas stocking fillers.

Result number 1... a £150 iPod Touch... wait... what?!

Since when is an iPod, or anything that expensive, considered to be a "stocking filler"?! 

Gimme a break, I've got £41.50 worth of vouchers, I haven't won the bloody lottery!!

She wont do a poo...

A certain co-worker, who shall remain nameless, decided to bring her dog into the office today as the boss is away.  So that's all good, I'm not the world's biggest fan of dogs, but I don't mind them.

So after said dog, a westie for anyone keeping track, has gone properly bat-sh!t crazy running around all over the place and completely knackered herself out (she is 12 or 13) she's gone and had a lay down.  At various points appearing right next to me, seeking attention.

As lunch-time nears I decided I didn't really fancy the tin of soup I'd bought in, and since I still owe said colleague a few meals (she's bought more breakfasts than I have lunches) I said I'd get us something from the snack bar around the corner.

So I phone up and order the food, and then am asked if I'd mind taking the dog out while I go around to pick up lunch.  I was... reluctant to say the least, partly because a westy is hardly the epitome of masculinity when it comes to dogs, but mainly I was thinking that if the little creature decided to empty her bowels then I would be unprepared and unwilling to deal with it.

"she wont" I was told "she might have a tinkle but that will be it"... ok, I'll take your word for it.

So away we go, stopping every 10 feet to sniff something, and every 20 feet to "mark" her territory.  We get this all the way round to the snack bar, where I pick up lunch and pay for it.  Then turn to leave.

30 yards back down the road... the dog decides she's going to take a dump.

Now how this tiny little rat of a dog can produce quite so much is beyond me, but as I stand with no bags, and a couple of onlookers she keeps going... and going... and going.

Once she's done it's time for a hasty exit, to return the wee beastie to her owner, and think about how much better cats are.

No... it's not my time!!

So, I look in the bathroom mirror and see what I thought was a spot nestling amongst my facial hair, the top of it was white.  I look closer... and it wasn't a spot, it was a white hair... and it wasn't alone.

So I've just had to pluck 3 white hairs from my beard... I shouldn't have white hairs, I'm too young... toooooo young!!!

Oh for the love of...

So, our resident accounts lady at work (who happens to be the boss' missus) wanders over and says to me "you put these three invoices on hold, and left me a note not to pay them... but I've paid them.  We need a system to stop that happening".

Silly me, I thought the system was that I put the invoices on hold and left you a note telling you not to pay them?!  I didn't realise that the system then leads onto you ignoring it, and then acting like it's anyone's fault but yours'.

But hey... that's only $6k that we've overpaid.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

But you didn't... did you...?!

A couple of months ago we moved office, from a dingy little unit in a business centre to a much bigger self contained business unit which has been fitted out to the boss' requirements.

Since we moved there were a few things to sort out, one of which was the utility supplier.  Now this is all stuff for the boss to arrange, and really has nothing to do with the rest of us.

We keep getting calls from Meter Registration Service, and Commercial Power (who I believe are the same company based on some digging online).  They tell us that our meters aren't registered with a supplier, and so we'll be getting charged higher rates for utilities than we should do.

The boss is well aware of the fact that they keep calling, and has no intention of talking to them.  He said that he doesn't know who they are, or what they want.

So I thought I'd do a little research and see just who they are.  Turns out they're an energy broker, and apparently one that uses some devious methods, who represent NPower.

I made a few notes on this, and thought I'd let the boss know what's what.  So I said to him "I had a look online to see who this Meter Registration Service is", to which he responds "pfft... why bother?"... great start.  Then I said that I wanted to know who they were, and if it was anything legit, but that they were a broker "I could've told you that" he replies...

... but you didn't... did you?! 

You didn't tell me that, because you didn't know... you just sit there in your little office ignoring what's happening in the real world and thinking you know better than everyone else...

... well he's what you don't want to know... you don't know better than everyone else... you're just a small, petty little man who isn't happy unless he's lording it up over someone else.

One of these days someone, hopefully me (if I get to a point where I'm not relying on you to pay my wages), will tell you the truth.  In the mean-time I'll just sit here, cashing my pay cheque and loathing myself for putting up with your insufferable bullshit.

Such a nice man (how to make friends and influence people)

So, as you all no doubt know there are times in life when you have to rely on someone else, on this occasion the someone else in question is an Openreach engineer.  Now, as you may be aware Openreach are not the best run organisation in the world, but they serve an important purpose when it comes to phone lines and such.

On Friday there was an Openreach engineer here to install a new phone line, and to look at our broadband to try and figure out why it was so slow. 

So there he was, working away, and doing a perfectly competent job of it, when he loses his balance on the ladder.  Trying to steady himself he grabs for anything he can get hold of, and ends up getting hold of the metal cabinet housing our network switch, etc.  Now said cabinet happens to be laying on a board, not fixed, and so the cabinet comes off with him.

He recovered his balance and grabbed hold of it, and I was standing nearby and managed to get hold of it too so that it didn't fall to the floor, and I managed to take the router out (which is the only bit not screwed in) so that it didn't fall out.

Unfortunately the ladder he'd been standing on fell down, taking a couple of nice chunks out of the wall, and damaging the edge of a nearby work surface.  In fairness, it is our ladder that we use to access the data cabinet, and so he shouldn't really have been using that one, but it was there so he used it... fair play.

So we managed to get everything back in order, he went and got a replacement for the one cable that was broken, and everything seemed to be ok.  So other than the wall it was no harm done.

The boss, sat in his office, heard all the commotion.  When the engineer next went to the exchange the boss approaches me, and asks if the cabinet had fallen down, I said yes... and then it began.  Suddenly the engineer, who'd done a perfectly good job up until then was a "jerk", a "f*cking jobsworth", and a "c*nt".

So, I was tasked with getting the guy's name, ID no, etc... no problem.

Sadly the engineer arrived back when the boss was downstairs, and it kicked off.  "you've done a good job there mate, you've f*cked that, you've f*cked that, you've f*cked that.  You wanna watch what you're doing, and that ladder isn't there for you either".  "yeah, ok, I'll get my steps in, no problem.  You might want to fix that cabinet down though mate" was the only response from the engineer, that and to go and organise for a claim form to be sent out to us for it. 

At the point the boss returns to his office, and tells the guy "leave the details with him" (that being me).  Cheers boss, so you've just pissed the guy off and then left me to deal with it.

Anyway, luckily the guy wasn't too bothered, and after I commented that "hopefully he'll keep his head down" he laughed about it.  He went off to the exchange again, and arrived back just as I was leaving.  I apologised for leaving him to deal with the boss, he said it was me he felt sorry for and after exchanging a chuckle and some pleasantries I went on my way.

Stuff

So, as per one of my previous blogs (I forget which one) I lack money, and the willpower to save money!!

I've checked my bank balance this morning, and worked out which bills have yet to come out of the bank, and allowed for hte fact that I've gotta fuel up the car soon... and if (and this is a big IF) I'm really really really good between now and pay day then I could carry £160 over from last pay-day... that'd be a big improvement on the last couple of months of saving £20 a month.

Now the slight problem(s)... pay day is 3 weeks away, and that's a long time for me to not spend money.  It's the 5 year anniversary of my first date with the other half on the 12th of August, and that's almost certainly going to involve spending some money at least.

In fact we're going out for the day on the 12th, although she's not decided where yet.  I'm thinking maybe Port Lympne since we have year long entry from when we went in June... suppose that depends on weather though...

Ah well, wish me luck on the savings front dear reader!!

Nice while it lasted...

And there we are, after 2 days the Great British Summer seems to have gone on it's way again.  We've gone from sunshine and 28 degrees to rain and 18 degrees... and I'm quite liking the change if I'm honest!!

The office was a bit on the warm side the last couple of days, since the air-con was never installed before we moved in... it's ok though, because the air-con has now been ordered...!!  The problem there of course is that we need to use the air-con when it's hot, not order the air-con when it's hot and get it installed when it's not hot anymore!!

Hopefully the rain will hold off tomorrow as we're off to the races which should be a laugh, and a Boyzone convert which should be traumatising.  Sadly I can't even have a drink to help me through the night, since I've been volunteered to drive everyone home... Aces!!

Still, maybe it wont be tooooo bad... I'm trying to stay up-beat here!! 

Money money money... it's not funny

So, we all know that money makes the world go round, and we all know that those who don't have money are therefore on the back foot.

I've never quite understood the concept if I'm honest, money quite clearly makes a lot of people spend their lives doing things they hate for people they don't like just in order to survive.  Is it just me or is that majorly screwed up? 

Life is fleeting, and yet mankind has come up with a way to ensure that a large chunk of life is spent working in order to pay your bills.  Now we're supposed to be the most super-duper advanced life-form in the whole known universe... so why are we so bloody stupid? 

Animals don't worry about money, they forage, hunt, scavenge, etc for food, they make their homes out of twigs, caves, or burrows... in effect they do what they want to do.  Yet here we are, the pinnacle of evolution, with such an idiotic concept.

Right now I know someone who's selling off stuff to pay bills, and someone who is looking at spending best part of 3 hours a day travelling to and from work... and that's not making anyone happy.  So why dear reader, does man always look to make himself miserable?

Wanted: Willpower

Ok, so the title is pretty much self-explanatory.  One thing that I lack in abundance is willpower, and that's the major contributing factor to two things that I dislike about my life. 

First is my weight, no matter how good my intentions are when I start a diet I end up losing the willpower to keep it going more than a few weeks.

Second is my lack of money, which is actually linked to the weight thing as I spend quite a bit on junk food.  The other thing I spend money on is video games.  I suppose really that I don't want to stop buying games... in fact if anything I would probably end up spending more on games if I spent less on food.  Still if I had a little more willpower then I could avoid making the spur of the moment purchases which have been so costly over the years.

So, the question is how to increase my willpower to the point that I don't spend the vast majority of my money, and I can actually put something away for the future as well as getting a bit healthier... that answer eludes me right now.

Being British

Following on from my Sh*tish Telecom blog where I mentioned the past honour of Britishness I thought I'd have a think about the state of Britain nowadays.

Now, this is not going to be a "bloody foreigners are ruining our country" type blog, because that's a very narrow-minded and sensationalist view, if anything the cultural diversity of Britain should be a good thing.

The problems mainly originate in politics, while immigration is not a bad thing, and in many cases people who come to this country either do jobs that the British don't want, or bring expertise into the economy, there are too many people let into this country who do no want to work.  In effect Britain has become a soft touch, and if you roll in from another country then you get given money, and a house.  I've lived in this country for my whole life, and I don't see anyone lining up to give me a house just for the sake of it!!

Then we move on to the lazy folks, those proud British souls who frankly can't be bothered... lets give them some money as well, they don't want to work, so someone's got to keep them.  I know the job hunting is hard, and if you happen to be unfortunate enough to find yourself being out of work then you have my sympathy because I've been there and it's not nice.  However, if you simply want to sit around the house and not even try and find work then shame on you.  Why should the tax-payers subsidise people who refuse to work?  Women who decide to pop out a few kids so they get plenty of benefit money?  People who are not physically able to do a job, but someone are physically able to spend all day playing golf?

And my last target in this blog is the political correctness brigade... for you see we can't have "Christmas lights" anymore, we can't fly the Union Flag, we can't celebrate our national identity.  Why is this?  It's because we might upset people who've moved to our country... now pardon my attitude here, but if you move to a country then you accept their culture.  I'm not saying that you adopt their beliefs, but you don't complain about them expressing their beliefs, and it's not like the majority of foreign people who come to this country have even taken offence to anything... but we "might" upset Hindus if we put up "Christmas lights"... the Brits who come up with this stuff need to grow a pair.

This was once a proud nation with a great culture, and populated by people who could feel genuinely happy to be British.  It can be a great country again people, I know it can, but we (seemingly few) proud Brits need to take back the country from those who would try and force us from our own homeland...

Or maybe I should just move abroad.

Sh*tish Telecom

I've heard that once upon a time being British was something to be proud of, that our companies were world leaders, and that the very word British conjured up a dogged spirit and will to succeed.

So where did it all go so wrong?  Well British Telecom have to take a chunk of that blame.  We've asked them to do a relatively straightforward thing... to port three phone numbers from Virgin Media to BT, and install them in our new office unit.

The first two are done, although not without many, many phone calls and yelling.  You see we ordered the transfer on June 9th, and the sales guy who took the order placed it on the 9th... however when he was asked to verify the post-code (it was different as we were moving office) he did nothing with it for 8 days... consequently having told us it'd be done on June 20th he suddenly vanished off the face of the Earth when it transpired that they would actually be doing it on July 1st.

Despite numerous attempts from all of us they couldn't improve on this date, and so we were stuck with it.

Things, in the end, worked out ok.  The lines went in on moving day and we got up and running.  Then came time to port the third number.  This time the engineer arrived just 2 days after the order was placed... brilliant... although it turned out that in fact BT hadn't even asked Virgin to release the number by then, and so the engineer went on his way again.

What's followed has been a series of calls to BT (who say Virgin wont release the number, that the line has more than one number on it, and finally that a mistake was made on the order) and Virgin (who say that they've not received an order from BT).  Now BT have decided to ask what sort of line it is, it's a Centrex line, whatever that means.  Armed with this information they now think it should be ok... so why didn't you bloody well ask in the first place you idiots?!

So, in conclusion... BT Suck!!

Miscellaneous thoughts

Not entirely sure what this blog is going to end up containing, so be patient with me.  There are just various unclassified thoughts that I want to vent.

Lets start with the car... its leaking transmission fluid... I seem to have nothing but bad luck with this car, and even though it's under warranty still it's just a pain in the rump to get it sorted.  It's being picked up tonight to go back to the garage for them to sort it out.  In theory they should also give me a courtesy car to use, which they'd better do since I no longer have the option of driving to work.

Mondays suck... I mean seriously, whoever invented Mondays deserves to be tied to 5 horses (one on each limb, plus one tied to his balls) and have them run off in different directions!!

Skintness is not good!!  Everything is so expensive these days that it leaves no room for saving substantial amounts of money.  Now I know that I do myself no favours on that front really as I do like to spend a bit of cash on video games and fast food, but still... £550p/m on rent, £105p/m loan repayment. £40p/m on Virgin Media, £35p/m on mobile phone contract, £70p/m on petrol, £17.50p/m on road tax (if you average it out), £46p/m on car insurance, £12.50p/m on TV License... that's £876 of my £1200 per month gone, leaving £324 per month for food, drink, entertainment, clothing, etc... assuming that there are no extra charges on the above things like call costs.  In today's world £324 doesn't go too far!!

I don't want to live around here forever, I was talking to my Bro over the weekend and he was talking about wanting to move to Northumberland, but his missus has told her sister that they wont move.  It got me to thinking, I don't want to live here all my life.  Don't get me wrong Kent isn't all bad, but it's just not somewhere that I would want to spend forever.  However due to the above mentioned skintness I can't see any changes on that front in the imminent future which is kinda depressing.

Speaking of things which are expensive... weddings!!  I'm getting married on 4th May 2013, although following a recent visit to the future in-laws where even my fiancée couldn't remember the wedding date I may end up being the only one there on the day!!  We didn't want anything too traditional, AKA boring, and so we're getting married at Kent Life, which is a museum / farm type place, and it's going to cost us a fortune!!  Seriously the missus reckons £9k at least... that is a crazy amount of money to spend for one day... I know it's going to be the most special day of our lives, but £9k is scary!!  The last "wedding" we went to was a registry office ceremony followed by a reception in a working men's club, and even that apparently ran to around £5k... makes ours' seem better value for money, but still... putting the word wedding in front of a product seems to multiply the prices involved by about 73.

My boss is a tw@t.  On Friday he was asking if my car had a leak, and seemed briefly to be concerned over the fact that I may have a problem with it... then it transpired the only thing he was bothered about was the car dripping on the driveway... so now I've parked in the Comet carpark... happy?!

Radio 2 is crap.  Sadly I work in an office where I am the youngest employee by around 20 years, and since all the oldies like Radio 2 I'm stuck listening to it.  This wouldn't be quite so bad if Chris Evans were on, cos I quite like him, but he's on holiday and filling in is Richard Madely!!

Speaking of on holiday, my mate at work is in Vegas, and we're currently half way through her time off... that means I'm rattling around in the main office on my lonesome, while boss man sits in his office.  It also means extra work, but as long as she's having a good time I don't mind that so much.

So there we have it... a selection of random meanderings... enjoy.

Cheers Bro

Well, here we are again... Monday morning... how I loathe thee!!

The weekend was good though, thanks to my bro who organised a barbecue / games marathon.  Now things didn't go entirely to plan... the rain saw off the barbecue so it became a grill / oven a cue instead which isn't quite the same, but it was very good anyway.  Also the late night kebab from the place that supposedly does nice kebabs was decidedly rank, but other than that it was a good time had by all.

One of bro's mates, we'll call him D, joined us.  Nice lad, little bit pushy when it comes to other people drinking though.  Not much of a gamer is D, although he's not bad at Mortal Kombat... I only managed 1 flawless victory over him!!  Strangely when playing 3 player MK he was quite good, but when it was just him vs me I distinctly had the upper hand. 

We also went over to the green for a kickabout... and by kickabout I mean looking like a bunch of inept gits who'd never kicked a ball before!!  I managed one goal while playing head and volleys, bro managed 2, and D... I don't recall him scoring, but he did run around a lot which looked very energetic and made me tired just watching him.  Also at various points the ball was lost in hedges, and even up a tree!!  Luckily D is rather fond of getting into the bush.

We also watched Repo Men which is a slightly macabre film involving the sale and repossession of artificial organs, and the ending is just f*cked.  Still, not a bad film for the most part, quite grotesque in places, and now something you'd want to watch over dinner... combined with the kebab it left me feeling a little nauseous.

The kebab also gave me quite bad wind... to the point that I cleared the room of Bro and D at one point with a fart that Bro described as "chewy".  I shouldn't be proud / amused about it... but I kinda am!!

We were then going to play squash on Sunday, but Bro wasn't that keen, and I'd been awake since 05:40 so skipping it was fine with me.  We went to KFC instead, and then Pets at Home.  They had a giant house rabbit there, which made me decide that I want a giant house rabbit!!  This thing was huge, sadly the other half is a bit freaked out by excessively large rabbits, and the thought of a rabbit which weighs in excess of 5kg put her off a bit!!

While in Pets at Home I picked up another squeaking mouse thing for my mum's kittens since they've destroyed the first one we got them!!  Delivered that yesterday afternoon when I got home.

Then last night the missus bought us an Indian.  I had some tandoori chicken tikka thingamajig... the main problem with it was that I think they'd used a whole plantation worth of sugar!!  It was so sweet that I couldn't even finish it.  The breads were nice though.  It was the first time I'd had an Indian take-away, and I will try it again, but need something less sweet and more spicy in future.

So, for a top weekend... Cheers Bro.

I wanted that...!! Wait, are they mad?!

So, some couple from Falkirk have won the £161m EuroMillions jackpot from this past Tuesday then... I think they'll find that I had actually called dibs on that jackpot and so they should really be giving that money to me!!

They're also holding a press conference about it.  Now, I don't entirely know what I would do with that amount of money (though I'd like the chance to find out) but I know for darn sure that I would not hold a press conference and announce to the world that I was now nearly as rich as the Beckhams.

Talk about painting a huge bulls-eye on your back, now they're just asking to be targets for crime.  A rather sad state of affairs I grant you, but do you think the criminal under-world wont be paying attention to the press conference? 

Money is a strange thing, I imagine... I can't say for sure as I never bloody well have any these days!!  I understand the desire to flash a little cash, get yourself a nice house, and a nice car, but surely that would be enough? 

Anyway, to anyone reading this I am calling dibs on the next £100m+ EuroMillions jackpot, so keep your hands off!!

My boss must die...!!

Hello all, hope you're all well.  I realise it's been ages since my last post, but I've not really had much to write about. 

Now however, I've found something to let off steam over.

I've been working at this company for 7 and a half years now, which is 1/4 of my life.  That's a pretty significant investment of time on my part, and while I am not badly paid for my work of late there has been a distinct lack of respect.

Now, in his defence (as limited as it may be) the boss has been stressed out about getting our new office sorted out, although it's taken him about 8 months so far when he initially wanted us to be in around March time.  We're now moving on July 1st, and yes some things have been going wrong towards the back end of the project.

However, treating your staff with some common courtesy doesn't seem like too much to ask of an employer.

It's apparent for all to see that as a man manager the bloke is useless.  He doesn't unite or motivate his staff, he doesn't lead by example, he just expects people to get on with it.  Which is all well and good, and most of us are more than capable of doing that.  He doesn't seem to realise though that his comments are often demotivational, and make people want to not put their all into their work.

For years he's been well known for his back-tracking.  He'll tell you to do something, and then when it backfires he'll ask why you did it, it pisses us all off no end.  He wants to take no responsibility for these things, and as a classic example just the other day we got a bollocking for not holding shipments to customers who are late paying.  Then 24 hours later he's telling us to release a shipment to a customer who hasn't paid... now come on fella... you can't have it every which way.  What the f*ck do you actually want us to do?  Or was it simply a case that you went off on one without actually really engaging your brain first?!

A couple of days ago an invoice came back in the post as undelivered.  Now the accounts department happens to consist of his wife, on the odd occasion that she bothers showing up, so of course it can't have been her fault that it had been returned.  The most obvious reason for it coming back was the lack of a country written on the envelope (lets give the poor old posites a hand shall we and tell them what country to go to?!), to which his response to me was "well does she know it's in Hungary?  She's not a f*cking mind-reader".  How the f*ck do I know if she knows it's in Hungary?  I'm not the one who asked her to post it, and I'm sure as hell not a f*cking mind-reader either... if I was a mind-reader I might have some outside chance of understanding how your mind works while you're off in your own little world.  If she doesn't know what country it's in then maybe it's an idea to check, instead of just f*cking sending it?!

At this point I was starting to think that the 10 years or so in prison for killing him would be time well spent, and lets face it prison doesn't sound too bad... Sky TV, gym, internet... and I'm sure you'd get used to the buggery.

So we move on to yesterday, and some stuff needed doing at the new office.  I was there at 8am (which is 15 minutes before I technically start work).  I swept the whole of the warehouse, separated a big stack of rubbish and recycling, moved some carpet upstairs, unboxed the carpet, and helped clean down the front of the building with some caravan cleaner and a pressure washer. 

I was shattered after that, and didn't think we'd done too bad for 4 and a bit hours.  Then it was back to the current office to sort anything that needed doing here, the stuff that's actually in my job description!!

So, while I was out for my lunchtime stroll, when I finally got my lunch break yesterday) the boss turns to my mate K and says "I was hoping he might break a sweat this morning, but no".  You f*cking what?!  You laid on your back and fitted a new pop-up waste to the bathroom sink which somehow took you about 3 hours, and you're going to make snide comments behind my back about me not breaking a sweat?  I worked my arse off yesterday morning, and that's the thanks I get?

Well, maybe it's time for you to see how you like it without me?  Job ads... here I come.

And if any of you know a cheap hitman then let me know.

Laters peoples.

"don't stack it"

Those were the last words of my boss as he got into a transit van, after giving me the keys to his Audi. 

Now given that his Audi is a diesel, and my total experience driving a diesel car before stood at about 10 minutes this morning, most of which time was spent re-starting the thing after stalling 5 times pulling out of my road, I was somewhat surprised to be handed the keys.

In my defence for the whole stalling thing, not only had I never driven a diesel before, I'd never been told anything about them either.  So I learne the hard way that you have to rev them a lot higher than a petrol engine when pulling away... might have been nice if Pete had mentioned that when he dropped the courtesy car off last night!!

Oh, right... yeah... I'm driving a courtesy car (diesel Mondeo for anyone who's interested) because the Megane is back in the garage... hopefully this time they're just going to put a new gearbox in and be done with it.  That remains to be seen though, as does how long it's going to leave me lumbered with this hideous Ford!!

Ah yes, the point I wanted to make when I started this blog is that I am, apparently, now trusted with the boss' car... all hail me!!

Yes, I made a mistake, now f off

Ok, so we all know at least one person in the office who likes to be the boss' pet, and shit stirs whenever someone else gets something wrong, at least anyone who works will know one... any students reading this will probably know a fellow student who does similar.

Well our one of those people is a Nuneaton based cross dressing German arse-bandit who shall remain nameless.

So, perish the thought that anyone actually be fallible, but it seems that I have failed to live up to his impossibly high standards.

I got an email from my mate in the office, and forgot to delete her comments before sending it to a customer, now it's not like there was anything bad on there, but I admit it is something I should have erased first.

Having sent the email I realised my mistake, and said to my mate that I should've deleted them but hadn't, but what can you do at this point?  Nothing.

So, the customer replies, no problems at all.

Then a couple of minutes later aforementioned freak of nature sends an email to me, my mate, and just has to copy the boss on it because it's another stick to beat us mere mortals with.

I am well aware of the fact that those comments should "NEVER" (capitalisation is from his email) have reached the customer, but do you really have to run off and tell daddy on me you pathetic shit-stirring numpty?!

Seriously, just fucking grow a pair, and if you have a problem with me then talk to ME about it.

Anyway, shouldn't you be busy sending emails to customers from the wrong email account, cos you aint perfect either my friend!!

Rant over!!

Grrr

So, the new car is now back in the garage having the gearbox looked at... which is just what you want in an automatic car... gearbox problems.  From a quick browse around the net I reckon it's a couple of solenoids need replacing, it seems a fairly common issue.  Hopefully it wont take too long to fix as I've not had chance to take it out for a long drive yet.

Anyway, for the time being I am without automobile... which makes Asda's f*ckwittery all the more irritating.

We were expecting a delivery from Asda last night, it was confirmed for between 18:00 and 20:00, we're fairly low on quite a few things, so it would certainly have been useful to have the shopping turn up.

Sadly nobody decided to tell Asda that when we book a delivery slot that we expect them to deliver in it!!

After they were an hour late the missus tried calling customer services, 16 minutes on hold later she gave up, and came seeking my advice... a further 20 minutes on hold later we were through to someone.

So, what useful bit of information did they give us... oh, the delivery has been rejected by the local store, I can't tell you why because there's nobody there now.  Ah... that's helpful isn't it!!

Do we want the delivery rescheduled for first thing this morning... well we work... so no!!  What do we want you to do... cancel the bloody order, and we'll go to Tesco!!

So, we still have no shopping, and the missus has a complaint letter to write to Asda about how bloody useless they are!!  There wasn't even an offer of any compensation!!

Spawnicus disease

I call it Spawnicus disease because diseases are often named after the first victim.

Spawnicus disease is, essentially, a cold that wont go away, and therefore is infinitely worse than any other disease known to man!!

I have now been ill for just about 2 weeks with this bloody thing, and just can't shift it.  In fact this morning I feel worse than I have done for about a week... why am I getting worse again?!

Once I complete my world domination I will have my top scientists working on a cure for this debilitating illness... until then, can someone pass me the tissues?!

Get out of the f'ing way!!

So I left my house this morning, and outside the next door neighbour's was some random woman in a Vauxhall somethingorother.  Just sitting in her car, engine off, in the middle of the road, with cars on both sides.

So I've gotten in my car, and switched the engine on, thinking that would prompt her to move... it didn't.  I sounded the horn, thinking that would prompt her to move... it didn't... then I edged forwards so that she could see I was pulling out, and sounded the horn again... she still sat there doing nothing... only this time I got some strange gesture... I think she was signalling that she was waiting for the girl who lives next door to me, or she could have been saying it was the name of a book, 1 word, 4 syllables...

Finally the girl next door got in the car, and off they went.  Now why on earth could this woman not have pulled her car into the gigantic gap on the left just in front of her so that I could pass? 

Does she think she owns the road or something?!  She doesn't own the road, it's MY road... I've lived in it nearly all my life... actually by that logic it's Doris' road, she's lived there since it was all mud huts and the only traffic was the occasional stegosaurus wandering through.

But I digress... random Vauxhall woman, next time you get in my way I'm going to slash your tyres... promptly followed by your face... not that it would make you look any worse.

Rant over

Cars...

So the little Ignis is finally dying a death, the catalyst is shot to pieces, it gets through petrol like there's no tomorrow, the back passenger side tyre leaks air faster than a punctured beach ball, the windscreen has at least 3 noticeable chips in it, and it's just generally had it.

So I started looking around for another car a few weeks ago, an automatic so the other half can drive it (if I let her near my new car).

I've never liked estate cars, but I was on Autotrader and saw a Renault Megane estate (or to give it the proper name - Sports Tourer) and surprised myself by really liking the look of it.

Did a bit of reading up on them, and went to see it.  Drives like a dream, it's quiet and comfortable, with a few gadgets (most importantly aircon) to keep me going.

So having had the AA inspection done in it I'm waiting for it to be ready... and the wait is excruciating!! 

Unfortunately I've now decided I want a new model Megane Coupé... so before I've even got the Sports Tourer I'm planning it's replacement!!

How to piss off the boss

So the boss has gone off on business, he wasn't meant to be in the office today and so my lovely and charming colleague decided that she'd buy breakfast for herself and I. 

I got a call from the boss this morning to see if he'd left the power cable from his laptop in the office, and he had. 

So I text said colleague to say the boss was coming in, but she didn't see it.

So she turns up in the office with two breakfasts, and a look on her face that says "oh shit... what have I done?!"

The boss did not look amused... oops!!

A nice story to make me feel better

So next Tuesday I start physio on my left knee, having damaged the cartilage playing football many years ago. 

I was just talking to a guy who works in the same building as me, and his colleague is currently off work because of his knee.  It turns out he damaged the cartilage playing football, and physio didn't fix it.  So he went on to have keyhole surgery to remove the damaged cartilage and clean up his knee.

The hospital botched it, the knee got infected, and now he has to have a plastic knee fitted and be taught to walk all over again... that's just what I needed to hear before starting my physio!!

Thanks dude!!

May... throw... up... !!

Morning readers of the world of Spawnicus... all 3 of you!! 

What to say today?  The sun is shining, it's warmed up a little, it's a nice mellow Wednesday... oh, and I feel like I'm gonna hurl!!

Don't know why, but there is definitely a slightly nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach... anyone got a sick bag?!

The back-to-work Blues

So it's that time again... the Christmas holiday has come and gone, and tomorrow is back to work day.  I'm sure there are some people out there who look forward to getting back to work, some are those who've had a lousy Christmas, and most are just weird!!

Personally I'm not one of those who looks forward to going back to work, despite having a fairly low-key and uneventful Christmas thanks to the missus being ill for pretty much all of it.  I've grown rather partial of sleeping from 3am til 12pm if I'm honest... maybe I need to get some shift work and do 2 til 10 every day... now there's a thought.

But I digress, and to be fair going back to work is not really foremost among my concerns right now.  My motor, Iggy (it's a Suzuki Ignis) has decided now is a good time to mess around again and I have the same warning light that I got a few months ago... queue more messing about and hoping that the repair wont cost me a fortune!!  The thing is due in for MOT in just over a month too... cars cast far too much bloody money!!

Anyway, with a bit of luck I'll be able to replace the old girl soon... she is getting on a bit, and has more than a few miles on the clock... so if anyone hears of any half decent automatic cars for sale then let me know... I say automatic cos the missus has an automatic license and it'll be good for her to be able to get out and about on her own (otherwise known as - it might get me out of seeing her family!!).